


Swimming Through the Stars

by tmylm



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-27 16:12:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19016320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tmylm/pseuds/tmylm
Summary: For the anonymous Tumblr prompt: "Bechloe.. “Nothing Really Matters” by Mr. Probz. Every time I hear this song I just think of Beca writing it for Chloe."You can listen to the songright here!





	Swimming Through the Stars

**Author's Note:**

> AU Bechloe one-shot. Warnings for angst.

_“Next up, we have a brand new entry from Beca Mitchell! She really is on fire this year, isn’t she? This is_ Nothing Really Matters _, brand new this week.”_

Normally, the name has Chloe’s head snapping up, the same way as it has her heart racing. But, not this time. It is almost as if she is getting used to it by now, to hearing the name _Beca Mitchell_ wherever she goes. It is not surprising really. Her ex-girlfriend, the woman who is arguably the love of her life, is really making a name for herself. Beca is an incredible singer, an incredible songwriter. Honestly, she’s an incredible talent, and she is finally getting everything she rightfully deserves.

“And we’re changing the station!” Aubrey chirps loudly, hurrying quickly in from the kitchen. There is a soft pink apron tied around her slim waist, white flour markings spattered across the middle. It is an almost comical sight really, one that Chloe might laugh at if she felt like laughing at all.

Chloe simply shakes her head, not bothering to look up from the book she is reading.

“No, it’s okay,” Chloe promises sincerely, finally tearing her tired eyes from the words on the page in front of her. She isn’t really taking them in, anyway. In fact, she really couldn’t tell you what happened in the last couple chapters at all. “Leave it," she continues, "I haven’t heard this one.”

Aubrey looks skeptical, and with good reason. The last three months have been a nightmare for everybody. There have been numerous tears shed, countless nights where Chloe has fallen asleep sobbing into the fabric of Aubrey’s shirt. Presumably, Beca doesn’t feel the same way. Then again, what does Chloe know? She apparently doesn’t know Beca the way she thought she did, anyway.

In spite of her obvious reservations, Aubrey simply nods her head, before disappearing back into the kitchen. Though, not before taking a long glance at Chloe, making sure to really read her, try to gauge her actual emotions. Chloe wears those on her sleeve, but she has been a harder read lately, even she knows that. Aubrey's eventual departure leaves Chloe alone with her book, ears filled with the sound of the most beautiful, most familiar voice filling the room.

_“When she’s okay_   
_Then I’m alright_   
_When she’s awake_   
_I’m up all night_   
_And nothing really matters_   
_Nothing really matters.”_

Most, if not all, of Beca’s songs are love songs. It almost seems a little unlike her, because to the outside world, Beca is really not the hopeless romantic type. But Chloe knows her better than that. Chloe knows just how sweet, just how dorky, just how utterly _romantic_ her ex-girlfriend can be.

Until recently, until their breakup, most of Beca’s songs have been dedicated to, or at least influenced in some way, by Chloe. Oftentimes, Beca has tried to deny it, but Chloe has always picked up on the subtleties, the lyrics that have related entirely to them, and Beca has quickly caved, because she can’t lie to Chloe. Chloe knows her better than anybody in the world. Even now, she is still absolutely sure of that.

_“I see her face_   
_And in my mind_   
_I seize the day_   
_Whenever she’s nearby_   
_It’s like nothing really matters_   
_No, nothing really matters.”_

This song is catchy, Chloe notices. It is the first time she’s hearing it, but already she can tell that it’s going to be a hit. She tries not to think about the emotion behind it, about how it’s likely written with someone new in mind. Not that Chloe knows if Beca has moved on yet, although she knows she will at some point. They both will. They both have to. Except Chloe knows that it’ll be a long time until she is in that place herself. For now, she’ll get lost in books; she’ll transport herself to another world, a whole imaginary distraction. If she could focus on the words, anyway.

_“I know what it feels like_   
_Swimming through the stars when I see her_   
_And I don’t need air ‘cause I breathe her.”_

At that, Chloe pauses. Her eyes are down on her book, on the open page displaying the story in which she has absolutely no idea what is happening, but they glance upward in almost slow motion.

Chloe replays the line over in her head, and then her lids are closing. All too quickly, she finds that she is lost in a memory.

It is the most beautiful, vivid, dangerous memory, too.

 

* * *

 

“God, it’s so hot,” Beca whines almost petulantly, the flannel previously wrapped loosely around her waist now discarded with an overly dramatic throw to the ground.

Chloe giggles as she watches Beca over the top of her shades.

“Did that help?” Chloe questions, eyeing the discarded garment momentarily, before returning her line of sight toward Beca.

“Nope.”

“Didn’t think so," Chloe chuckles softly, glancing briefly to the space beside her. "You should come sit in the shade with me.” Quickly, Chloe sets down her open book in her lap without regard for the current page. She reaches out a hand toward Beca, who looks at her with a small pout, one that Chloe can’t help but mirror. The book closes itself, and she has no idea which page she was up to, but she doesn’t care. Beca is much more interesting to her, anyway.

“It just seems pointless,” Beca frowns in apparent disdain. Though, she eventually stands in spite of her words, picking up her laptop and carrying it over toward Chloe. “A beautiful, sunny day and we’re sitting in the shade?”

“Every day’s a beautiful, sunny day with you around, my love,” Chloe says with a toothy grin. While she is teasing, intentionally being completely cheesy—even Chloe isn't _that_ big a cheeseball—she does actually mean it. Beca responds with a playful roll of her shiny blue eyes, but Chloe takes note of the way her cheeks darken a shade as she plops casually down onto the end of Chloe’s sun lounger. Chloe has pulled her feet up to make room for Beca.

“Besides, you probably shouldn’t have your computer out in the sun like that.”

This is a pretty standard, typical Sunday for them. Chloe always has her lesson plans completed at the start of the weekend, giving herself the rest of the time free to relax and hang out with Beca. She likes to sit out in their large backyard and read, while Beca works on new music contentedly beside her. With her red hair and pale skin, the California sun is really not Chloe’s best friend, but this is where Beca’s management is, it is where Beca's career is thriving. It is also where Chloe has her teaching job now. So, she doesn’t mind.

For Beca, she doesn’t mind.

Chloe's gaze drifts toward Beca as she stares down at her laptop, nose wrinkling in thought. Immediately, Chloe knows that face. She _knows_ that expression.

“Babe, why don’t you take a break?” Chloe suggests, sending Beca a small, genuine smile. While Beca loves her job, and is incredibly good at it, Chloe also knows it can be a big point of stress for her. If she can help to alleviate that sometimes, she will. Even if it is just with meagre suggestions. “Your focus is off right now, I can tell.”

“It’s the heat,” Beca explains through a small sigh, her head tilting slightly back in defeat.

Chloe, as usual, just thinks she is adorable. “You could take a dip in the pool? Maybe that’d help cool you off a bit.”

Again, Beca’s nose wrinkles as she looks over at Chloe, though it is for a completely different reason this time. “Are you forgetting your glitter explosion?”

Of course she is not, and Chloe cannot help her soft, breathy laugh at the memory. She had been carrying a stack of art supplies after work on Friday, and she had somehow managed to miss her footing, consequently dropping everything into the pool—glitter, art supplies and all. She and Beca had been able to hastily fish everything out… Other than the glitter.

“It won’t hurt you,” Chloe grins almost mischievously, motioning with her head toward the pool, “It’ll just make you sparkle a little bit. It’ll be like swimming through the stars.”

Despite the fact that Beca rolls her eyes, Chloe can see the small smile tugging at her lips.

“How do you manage to make everything sound adorable, Chlo?” Beca murmurs, and Chloe knows that look, too. The one where Beca is suddenly taking all of her in, overcome with that same swell of love Chloe knows all too well herself.

“Just a talent, I guess,” Chloe shrugs nonchalantly as she slips off her shades, setting both them and her now-closed book down on the ground. Quickly, she then proceeds to push herself up from her seat. “Come on.” Chloe holds her hand out toward Beca, who looks up at her with an arched brow.

“You want to turn me into Edward Cullen?”

Chloe shakes her head, red curls bobbing rhythmically. “No way, I’m team Jacob," she winks playfully. "Come on.”

“We don’t even have bathing suits," Beca half-whines, "They’re all the way upstairs.”

“What, are you worried about me seeing you naked?” Chloe teases gently. She has already begun to quickly peel off her shirt. Breezily, Chloe tosses the garment down onto the spot on the lounger she has just vacated, and takes subtle pride in the way she sees Beca gawking at her newly exposed chest.

They have been dating for almost four years now, living together for two. But still, even after all this time, somehow Beca will manage to look at Chloe as if it is the first time really _seeing_ her, and Chloe cannot help the way her teeth sink into her bottom lip in response each and every time.

“Stop it, perv. You were already playing with them in the shower this morning,” Chloe teases, going back to undressing. She quickly unfastens her shorts, tugging them easily down her legs. Seconds later, she is stepping out of her underwear, the sight of Beca gawking from the corner of her eye very apparent. Chloe bites back her grin in response.

“You know, you make it real hard to say no to you, Beale,” Beca groans, though Chloe notices that her arms are crossing in front of her until she can lift her own shirt up and off, too. Like Chloe, Beca also is not wearing a bra, and Chloe makes sure to appreciate the view as she backs herself toward the pool.

It is a good thing their backyard is so well hidden from passersby really, because there is now an international superstar and her girlfriend completely naked for all to see. But neither is too concerned about that. As usual, they’re pretty wrapped up in each other.

As Chloe approaches the pool, she registers the sight of leftover glitter shimmering in the water. It causes her to chuckle quietly to herself, until she is sitting down on the edge and lowering herself carefully into the sparkling ripples. The water isn’t exactly cold; the sun has seen to that. It is definitely cooler than standing around outside of it, though. Chloe dunks her head under the surface, then emerges again a second or two later, pushing her now wet hair back out of her eyes.

“Your hair is full of glitter,” Beca points out with a slight frown. Her hands are planted on her hips as she stands beside the pool.

“And yours will be too in a minute,” Chloe grins playfully, lifting her pale arms out of the water by her sides and admiring the way her skin glistens with tiny flecks of gold and silver glitter.

While Beca playfully rolls her eyes yet again, she also does not protest, and soon she is jumping into the water, too. Beca allows the liquid to cover her entire body, her head disappearing underneath the waves caused by her abrupt jump, before she quickly reappears a moment later, slicking back her glittery hair the same way as Chloe.

“Better, right?” Chloe smirks in response, allowing herself to float casually onto her back. The water ripples gently around her, and she feels herself relaxing into the serenity.

“I thought it’d itch more than this,” Beca admits, beginning to glide easily through the water.

“I told you,” Chloe shrugs, glancing over at her, “It’s like swimming through the stars.”

“Sure it is,” Beca teases, pausing in the water beside Chloe. Beca stands, her arms slipping underneath Chloe's body until she can turn her around. Chloe watches her with amusement, just allowing Beca to move her, until her arms are wrapped around Beca’s neck, legs comfortably in place around her waist.

“Told you this was a good idea,” Chloe beams proudly, nudging the tip of her nose gently against Beca’s. Beca responds with a soft, contented smile, until she is leaning forward to press a delicate kiss to Chloe’s lips. Chloe, of course, happily returns the gesture.

“I still feel like Edward Cullen,” Beca comments, her arms wrapped around Chloe’s waist. She is drifting backwards toward the side of the pool, holding tightly onto Chloe, who is still wrapped comfortably around her small frame.

“Right. But only if Edward Cullen was swimming through the stars,” Chloe points out, moving one arm from around Beca to wipe a speck of glitter from under her eye. Beca gives Chloe that same playful look as usual, blue eyes rolling and full lips arching into a smile.

“Say it,” Chloe instructs, blue eyes now on Beca.

All Beca does in response is look at her with a raised brow. “What?”

“Say it’s like swimming through the stars with me.”

At that, Beca’s dark brow arches higher. An amused smile dances on her lips, but she does not respond.

With the hand still not around Beca, Chloe flicks a splash of water her way. Beca tries to duck to the side, but it hits her directly in the face regardless. Fortunately, her eyes close in time to stop any glitter from getting into them.

“Say it!” Chloe instructs with a playful grin, instantly flicking more water Beca's way.

Beca cuts her off with a laugh, blue eyes finally opening to meet Chloe's gaze. “Okay, okay. It is.”

“It is what?” Chloe asks in an almost singsong tone. Her subtle smirk settles back onto her lips as she wraps her arm around Beca’s neck again. Chloe's grip around her tightens, and Beca’s does the same.

Beca leans forward to push a gentle kiss to the tip of Chloe's nose. “It’s like swimming through the stars with you, baby.”

 

* * *

 

“Chloe?”

Aubrey’s voice startles her awake.

“Oh, I’m sorry," Aubrey says with both an apologetic look and tone of voice, "I didn’t know you were sleeping.”

It takes Chloe a second to snap back to reality. At some point, she had evidently fallen asleep on the couch, her book still open in her lap. There is a song playing on the radio that she doesn’t recognize now. It’s definitely not one of Beca’s, anyway.

Carefully, Aubrey perches down onto the side of the couch, bringing up a hand to comfortingly brush a small chunk of hair softly behind Chloe’s ear. “Why don’t you go lay down for a bit,” Aubrey suggests, voice soft and reassuring. She offers Chloe a sympathetic smile, one Chloe has grown all too familiar with lately.

Chloe responds with a short nod of her head and a somewhat forced yet still appreciative smile, before pushing herself slowly up from the couch.

Stacie will be home soon, anyway. Chloe adores both Aubrey and her girlfriend, and she really is eternally grateful to them for allowing her to stay with them until she gets back on her feet, but she has to admit, it is difficult seeing them all over each other. While she is happy for them, and she loves how in love they are, Chloe also doesn’t have that anymore. Aubrey and Stacie are unfortunately a stark reminder for her, and Chloe cannot deny, at least secretly, that it hurts.

Chloe retreats to the guest room—her room, for all intents and purposes—to the sight of her laptop laid on the end of the bed, where she’d left it this morning. Chloe had been doing some lesson planning, but had eventually lost her focus, and proceeded to go sit downstairs with Aubrey.

When she takes a seat on the bed and opens the laptop’s lid, Chloe minimizes her earlier work quickly, and instead opens up Spotify. It is really no surprise that _Beca Mitchell_ is one of her most recent searches.

Chloe scrolls to the new addition, _Nothing Really Matters_ , and hits play. She turns down the volume some, not wanting Aubrey to hear.

_“I know what it feels like_   
_Swimming through the stars when I see her_   
_And I don’t need air ‘cause I breathe her.”_

Chloe had not been imagining it. She hadn’t dreamt it. There it was, loud and clear.

_“Swimming through the stars when I see her.”_

Against her better judgment, Chloe clicks on the iMessage application, and quickly pulls up her last text message thread with Beca. It has been over a month since they have spoken, and the thought causes Chloe’s heart to ache.

**Chloe**   
_I heard your song_

For a good ten minutes, there is no response, though Chloe finds herself continually clicking back onto the conversation, eyes moving to the chat window regardless. She is about to close the lid again when the chat bubble appears, and Chloe’s heart begins to race.

**Beca**   
_Which one?_

**Chloe**   
_Your new one_

**Beca**   
_Oh_

Chloe waits a moment, wondering if there is more to come. Apparently, there isn’t. And something about that angers her, but what can she do? She simply lets out a long, defeated sigh, before closing the laptop's lid and flopping back against the plush pillows.

Just like they do a lot of the time lately, the backs of Chloe's eyes begin to sting, so she quickly closes them, gently shaking her head slowly and willing herself to woman up. She needs to stop crying. It has been three months; at some point, she really has to stop crying over Beca Mitchell.

Chloe doesn’t know what time it is when the sound of her phone wakes her. Honestly, she didn’t even know she’d fallen asleep again, but the room is dark now, and Chloe blinks into the stillness to find that her phone is still buzzing on the mattress beside her. She reaches for it blindly, squinting at the name on the screen.

**_BECA MITCHELL_ **

And just like that, Chloe’s heart is in her throat. It is against her better judgment that she hits accept on the call.

“Hello?”

There is a silence for a moment, followed by the quiet sound of Beca’s almost timid voice. It is not a tone Chloe really recognizes. “Chloe, hey. It’s me.”

Chloe's tongue flicks over the part in her dry lips, and she makes sure to swallow back her emotions thickly. “What do you want?”

More silence follows, almost like Beca is hesitating. “You’re still staying with Aubrey and Stacie, right?”

Chloe doesn’t understand the point of this phone call, but she humors it. “Yeah, I am. Why?”

“Okay,” Beca responds simply. She clears her throat, and Chloe is certain she hears the sound echoing somehow. It causes her to sit upright in the bed, her free hand running through her messy hair, and a certain sense of both panic and odd elation sets in. Beca continues. “Chlo, can you come outside?”

Chloe’s heart was already racing before she had even answered the call, but it only speeds up further now. It seems that her body is working without the go ahead from her mind as she rises from the bed. “What?” Chloe questions a little dumbly, pulling down the sleeves of her oversized sweater. They engulf her hands, and Chloe appears smaller somehow, almost more vulnerable.

“Just come outside.”

Chloe doesn’t respond. She licks over her lips again as she makes her way slowly toward the window. The guest room is at the front of the house, and she looks out to see Beca standing awkwardly outside in the evening light. Her phone is held to her ear, her free arm wrapped around her small middle. Chloe sees the way Beca glances up, and she knows that she has seen her.

“Please, Chlo.”

It is pathetic, the fear Chloe is now filled with. Because Beca Mitchell is not scary. Beca Mitchell is not this negative presence she has started to become. In reality, Beca Mitchell is the love of her life, she is her _person_.

But Chloe doesn’t have her anymore, and maybe that’s what is making this all so terrifying.

Chloe moves through the house quietly, not wanting to catch Aubrey or Stacie’s attention. She can hear them in the living room, laughing quietly at something on the television, though Chloe doesn’t stop for long enough to see what. She has hung up the call by now, leaving her phone lying abandoned on the bed, and she thinks she hears it begin to buzz again. Chloe ignores it, and instead quietly opens the front door. The underside of her white socks definitely suffer as she pads out into the evening without shoes, cautiously closing the door behind her.

“Are you mad?” Beca questions as Chloe approaches, and suddenly Chloe can see that same fear in Beca’s eyes. Because it is Beca, the sight causes her chest to tighten, her stomach to clench in the most uncomfortable way.

“About what?” Chloe asks, approaching even more cautiously than the way she’d tiptoed down the stairs.

“That I’m still writing songs about you.”

Chloe licks over her dry lips, eyes blinking slowly. She doesn’t have a response, at least not a verbal one. Slowly, though, she shakes her head.

“Why are you writing songs about me still, Beca?”

“Because I’m an idiot.”

The response, loud and clear, is almost like a punch to the stomach. Chloe knows she isn’t supposed to be Beca’s muse anymore, not now that they are broken up. But to hear her calling the very idea idiotic is genuinely painful.

“For all of this, I mean.”

Chloe pauses at that, gaze trained on her ex-girlfriend—to think of her as such still causes Chloe's heart to ache.

Beca doesn’t respond, but it is almost like the invisible rope tied around her small limbs has suddenly loosened. Her emotions are rising to the surface, and Chloe notes that Beca is no longer glued to the spot. She shakes her head as she takes a step forward, and it seems like she is daring herself to reach out. Eventually, she does, and the soft touch to her arm causes Chloe to flinch slightly. Beca recoils, but she is soon reaching out again carefully, this time for Chloe’s hand. Chloe knows that she should, but for some reason, she does not stop her.

“Chloe, I’m so sorry,” Beca murmurs softly, her sad sounding voice now thick with emotion. Chloe can hear the way it is cracking, she can imagine the stinging sensation behind Beca’s wide, sad eyes, because she can feel it behind her own, too. She bites back a pathetic sob as Beca continues.

“I’m an idiot,” Beca repeats in no uncertain tone. “No one has ever been as supportive or as amazing as you are. You never asked me to choose between you and my job, you never would. And I’m so sorry that I let myself get so caught up in the whole Hollywood thing. I just…” Beca pauses, swallowing back the obvious lump in her throat. “It’s just a lot, you know? Paparazzi following us everywhere? Zero privacy? I hated doing that to you, Chlo. I hated dragging you through all of that with me.”

It doesn’t matter how well she tries to hold it together, Chloe is crying now. There are slow tears rolling silently down pale cheeks, and without her even realizing it, her fingers are soon lacing with Beca’s.

“That wasn’t your decision to make,” Chloe sobs quietly, her head shaking slowly. Beca’s thumb is brushing softly over the back of Chloe's knuckles, and Chloe takes comfort in the familiar feeling. “I didn’t care about any of that. That’s your job, that’s all apart of it. And I didn’t care because I was with you.”

Beca takes a moment to compose herself, and Chloe sees the way her cheeks are glistening. She instinctively reaches out with her free hand to brush a tear from Beca’s rosy cheek with the pad of her thumb; it is almost like the pool and the glitter all over again.

“I know. I’m sorry,” Beca finally says. “I don’t want to do this without you, Chlo. I know that when I ended things, I know I hurt you, and I know it was so selfish of me. But I need you to know that you’re literally the love of my life. Nothing really matters without you.”

Again, Chloe doesn’t have a response. She is too choked up, so she just stares at Beca blankly through tear soaked lashes.

“I’m going to fix this, okay?” Beca continues with an air of sincerity in spite of her choked up tone. She tugs gently onto Chloe’s hand, until their bodies are pressed closely together. Beca lets go, but only to wrap her arms around Chloe's waist—a natural position for them, somewhere they should've been long before now. “These last three months have been hell. And if you’ll let me make it right again, I will. Because you’re it for me, Chloe. I want everything back the way it was. I want to fall asleep beside you every night, I want to wake up with you every morning. I want to do cheesy crap like putting flour on your face when I’m pretending to be bored when you’re making me bake cookies with you—”

Chloe cuts her off. “Or pouring glitter in the pool and swimming through the stars?”

Beca responds with a soft laugh, in spite of her slow tears. She nods her head in response. “Exactly. I want us to be in love again, Chlo.” Beca quietens, almost like she is afraid to continue; afraid to ask the burning question. Her voice comes out much smaller then. “Do you think we can?”

Pearly teeth sink gently into Chloe's bottom lip, and in spite of the tears still rolling freely down her cheeks, she finds that her lips have curved just slightly upward at the corners. “We never stopped, Bec. I’m always yours. I was always yours.”

Beca’s lids flutter shut delicately, and Chloe sees the way a couple fresh tears spill down her cheeks before Beca is leaning up to delicately connect their lips in an overdue, lingering kiss. It is a feeling Chloe has been craving for the last three months, an action she returns without hesitation. Their tears are staining one another’s faces now, but neither one cares.

“I’m always yours too, Chlo,” Beca mumbles softly as she pulls back, lids fluttering open again to look up at Chloe with real, genuine sincerity. Blue eyes meet blue, and the look to follow is so familiar, so comforting.

Beca nods her head gently, assuringly. “I was always yours.”


End file.
